backpacking addict
Ajith called two weeks ago. He said he had lost everything in the Tsunami. His brother dead, he watched him being washed away. His friends gone. His mother was okay but their house was destroyed. I of course offered to send him money, although I think he had every intention to ask.
I didn’t do it right away because I didn’t know how much to send. My friend said that “The correct amount would be what you can afford, and too much would be putting yourself in a bad position.” Wise words. But wise words are hard to put into practice.
I didn’t know what was being stingy, what was being over generous. One can always use more cash or can spare more cash then we want. What’s necessary shift, increase and descends, with no real impact. I learnt that after I worked in an over paid environment to starting out all over again.
So I decided on a certain amount, then decided to give half to a charity, half to him. Then I thought I should give most to charity and some to him. After all Ajtih met hundreds and hundreds of tourists in his job. They probably would help out too. He would be fine. Maybe it doesn’t cost a lot to rebuild your life in Sri Lanka.
Eventually Anna called from London, “How did you find him?”
“Email. I wrote him an email! I set it up for him and taught him to use the net remember?? And he called me back. Good thing I did that.”
“How is he?”
“Shocked,” I said, “Distressed, Horrified, Hurt, Confused.” I paused. “Anna, it’s so bad that when I told him that everything is going to be okay and he would make a new life for himself he laughed this terrible sarcastic laugh. I didn’t know what to say.”
“It’s probably too far away for him to think about Yan.” She said, “When people are dealing with the day to day, wondering where his next meal is coming from. Where are they going to get his clothes, it’s impossible to see a future.”
“He cried… on the phone. They say the psychological impact is the most long lasting problem these countries are going to deal with. Watching it happen, and all the things they saw afterwards.”
“No doubt.”
“Anna, I think he felt really humiliated with being in a refugee camp.”
“Yes, can you imagine, you’ve just lost everything and you have to deal with those horrible conditions, and being doled out food and clothes? We can’t. Like all the things you worked for, and suddenly you’re relying on people who you don’t know. It must be so awful.”
“Went to university, came out to work, and traveled a bit. Started to make a life for him and his family. Just where we are now. If tomorrow, we lost everything and had to live in refugee camps. I don’t know how we could cope. How much money are you going to send?”
“I don’t know. I can’t say what it is going on over there. I don’t know the cost of food and clothes, if they can even get food and clothes…”
I told her my considerations. “I want to be generous, but at the same time, I don’t want to give too much.”
“You can’t give to much! They have lost everything and his brother, who was contributing too. I mean, think how long it’s going to take to get everything they have lost back. How long did it take to accumulate everything you have? It’s going to take years. BBC said that it’s going to cost $4000 US dollars to rebuild a house for a family. That’s just the house, what about everything else? There is no way we could give him that much money, even if everybody send him some. It’s just going to help him a little bit. A start up amount.
“You’re right….and whatever we give him will go back to the community….”
“It’s an opportunity to help someone we know. And we know where the money is going to go. It’s not like we send it to some charity, and it can get wasted or lost. Embezzled. Really, we sent all that cash to these organization and have no idea how and where they’re going to use it. Here we know we can surely help one family. It’s much better. It really will make a real difference in someone’s life, some we know, and we can really help.”
So I shall be sending the entire amount to Ajith. I may through time send him a little more. Really, without Ajith, our most fantastic holiday, a really special moment in our lives would never have been even half as memorable. I was so happy in Sri Lanka, it was one of the last moments I was happy before I got sick. It’s where the old me was at it’s brightest and happiest. It was a moment of carefree youth and it was also the place that brought me to all the interesting things I am doing today.
I was over looking an open field with ancient ruins crumbled along its parts, with the sun reflecting off the wind, a sparkle from clean air. Complete quiet. Not a sound of a car, not a sound of a plane. No jackhammers and people.
“Listen, there is nothing.”
“There is nothing!”
“Just us, no one around for miles.”
“No machinery, no technology, this is what is used to be like.”
We sit in silence for a long time.
I think and think and think for a long time. Everything seems so obvious I couldn’t believe how simple.
“Hey, Anna, I am not going back to work. Not like before anyway. 80 hour weeks, Sundays, no holidays. Start up life. Crazy pressure, dealing with assholes. I am going to write, make my art, work for non-profits. I don’t want all that stuff anymore. I want my life back.”
“I can see you doing that. There is more to you than going in to work day in day out. It’s like sheep. There must be better ways to spend our time, then sit in an office and stare at a computer.”
“I think so too. Not sure what. But something will come up. I will find it.”
___
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