More Filming, No Sleep

(this really doesn’t show you how bright it is at all. My (new Birthday gift!!!!) camera is so clever it mutes the brightness for me.)

Dear 華仔 or 華 哥 Wah Gei. JAI or Wah GOR (Nickname for Andy, Lau Duk Wah)

The above is a photo I took outside my bedroom window at 2:34 am. For the last two hours I have been trying to sleep but I have been unable to. For some reason “江湖” Gong Wu (if you want translation the meaning was much debated here) is now filming directly underneath my window, and you guys have made it so the lights shine right through the top of my curtains leaving about a 2 meter by 1 meter light spot on my ceiling.

That’s not it.

You’re doing an extreme long shot that carries over the whole side of the building along with fighting. This means I hear the pattering of feet as the criminal one, two, three and probably four are running after each other across the corridors. I can hear every clang of your choppers and swords, every contact of metal and body, along with all of you shouting about something. After more skidding and sliding one of you obviously jumps in a getaway car, because I hear the car start and drive off over and over again. You’re not going to film until 6am again are you?

Otherwise, since the extreme long shot is a crane shot, I can hear the damn machine moving up and down and side to side. I don’t understand this, it should not make a sound because otherwise it’s going to record on the sound track. Maybe you’re going to dub, if so why are you all screaming so loudly?

I can take the fact that you make the outside of my apartment look like a refugee camp, I can take that people stare at me when I walk home late at night. I can take that fact you made my street wet and slippery for two nights straight. But what I can’t accept at this hour is the LOUD STRAINS OF CANTOPOP PLAYED ON A LOOP OVER AND OVER AGAIN into my ears.

I love you. But you can’t sing. I sorta deal with Jacky in his dorky way, but I hate his songs. Neither of you are any good musically -I hate to say. And to add insult to injury your crew will not allow me to take photos, not only of you but of anything, which is what I like doing when I encounter funky cool things in my life. How can you not allow me to take photos of 40 guys standing around my apartment in white suits and then another forty in black with their hair slick back looking oh-so-cool? You know they are preparing to go into the meeting where the you and someone is going to gamble or confront and need all the boys behind you. I mean what great shots are they to have forever more?

Okay, I am going to try to sleep now. But I want to say, that you really owe me a photo and an autograph because it’s really unfair you take over my corner of my lovely happy world I so love living in, strut around it for a few days and not let me have a souvenier.

The guys at the laundry already have Jackie’s photo with them blown up, framed and hanging on their wall already. I want one too. Although you looked sorta like a wax sculpture in their photos of you. I am not sure if it’s because you are so perfect or because you have had a bit of a nip and tuck in the last few years. My aunt says (because auntie Bao Zao is friends with your manager) that you look so much better in the last two years because you’ve finally closed down the production company that so stressed you out but I am not so sure.

Either way, you’re looking good, the rain scene was extra fab, I promise to buy an actual copy rather than a cheapo pirated version from China because I want to know how all these scenes I have in my mind work out. Why are there people sipping drinks on the balcony? Are you guys at a hotel? But yeah, can you ask the Director not to yell, “Action” and “Cut” so loud? That always wakes me up. Oh, No… you’re playing that one bar of song again. I am really tired, I really want to sleep, even if it does sorta make me happy that you’re so close.

Your fan,

yan

–I Just saw Andy Lau and Jackie Chan

–Hard Core Andy Lau Duk Wah Fans