And Today’s Glutter was Brought to You by the Idea of a Peaceful Revolution.

Someone said to me last week, “I like reading Glutter. It’s as if I am plugging into an idea, which I am not sure what. But it leaves me invigorated.”

I replied. “That’s because at the heart of Glutter, the true core of it, regardless if I am talking about Street Racers, Burning Man, Music, and even my depression, it’s all about not buying in.

At the end of the day it’s about me trying to find alternatives to what’s been prescribed and have a space where I can find the weakness in existing ideas and paradigms that I come across daily in my life.

It’s just a post or two a day, but together en mass it will eventually amalgamate a portfolio of all the different thoughts I have about this. I am so tired of lying to myself and others about the way I see this place. And to be honest, if someone could conceive a way to have a revolution tomorrow, a peaceful one, one that doesn’t mean blood, silence, mass graves, and imprisonment. I would be the first one to sign up.” (Yes, and I really talk this way even in real life, if I happen upon someone who I perceive to understand.)

That person said, “Well I am not a radical, nor a revolutionary.”

And I thought, “You don’t have to be. Someone needs to be there when it’s over, to sweep up the mess and makes sure it grows coz others will always be breaking new windows.”

I know I am a window breaker by nature. I just do it with words.

If I forgot to tell you before, I guess it’s time to admit it. No one should come to this site if they don’t expect to have a shard or two hit them by accident, at some time or rather. I may change my mind somewhere along the line, but it’s all part of the process. I don’t even particularly care if people find it “pretentious,” or “reaching,” or whatever it is they call people who to try to do a little more than usual, even if it’s just through some ideas, pieces of software and just a few hundreds of thousand words in the English language.

Coz that’s who I am and always been. And I spent a good chunk of my 20th decade pretending I wasn’t, which so beautifully lead up to a total refusal to do anything except sit around and smoke too many cigarette and watch Teletubbies and Sesame Street and report its plot developments blow by blow to friends on messenger while they worked.

Some of them told me to go get a real job and stop wasting my away, others begged me to find something I truly loved because they really didn’t care if Elmo found his duck while others were horrified that they had missed the last 10 years of Sesame Street and asked me to explain who all those new puppets were and the exact geographical expansion of the neighbourhood.

But in the last year, as I started to really get it together again, and started to write, take photos and try and piece together a nightmare of the indie documentary I started, they kinda realized this is the path and maybe the only path for me to take. I agree and I think those around me in other ways have also come to acquiesce as much as maybe they prefer I use that that drive to go make a different kind of success.

It’s not really to be.

I am not even that interested in finding out why anymore. It just is.

So as the year draws to the end, I am stepping up this site and what I want to talk about. The nature of it is going to change a little, I don’t know exactly how it will come out.

But so it goes.

Yeah. I really seriously believe in the quiet, peaceful revolution. Some people just call it “change.” I don’t really mind what label its given as long as its happening and going towards the direction I wish it to go and shall do my tiny little bit towards it every day.

Yan
December 5th 2003