Street Racing: Promises I know will now be broken: June 29th 2003

Entry 1

Ah Lai finally agreed to let me film him. He’s finally in a good mood after six months of being off the road and having his licience revoked for well.. driving too fast. He is one of the best and legendary speed racers in Hong Kong. Everyone in the scene knows him, and without him, the crew is so boring, and I have been off since January, because there was no point in following everyone around when he is not around. He’s just come out of the hospital from some stomach problems, so he is extra mellow. And he’s sent all the boys out of Tune Works today, so he can fix his car in peace. Of course I turn up and ask if he would let me interview him. He said “No! Go Away. Leave me in peace.” I tried to argue with him, because I am stupid.

I have known him over nine months and I still forget that there is no way for me to win. We butt heads all the time, which isn’t the best thing to do when you are actually begging some guy to let you film in his life. At the very beginning of it all. I actually stood in Sheko, in front of all the others, and yelled at him for being a “Spoil Little Girl, considering he’s such a BIG MAN.” Because he just shouts at me for no reason. But he shouts at everyone. That’s how he talks.

But no one speaks to him back. Especially not some girl. He was pissed off as you can imagine, but somehow I guess since I never go away. Refuse to go away, and keep coming back he’s realised that I honestly want to do this.

Today, I tried to tell him a little bit about what I had in mind. Because he threw me a list of “Modifications” that his car has gone through. I told him I wasn’t very interested in that. I was more interested in him as a person. He said, “You don’t understand, I live through this car. I am this car.” I have to think more about this. What this statement means, and what is means for the him. Maybe I am getting it wrong. I want to know these people, and these people’s creativity, energy, and all thier hopes and dreams and somehow sublimated through their cars.

Of course I wish that I had this on tape. But I feel a okay, because my old high school friend who is now a cable news anchor (The wonderful Ms. Anji Rao) said to me once, “The best stuff is NEVER on tape.” And it’s true. It never is. Sometimes the story behind the footage might actually be the more interesting story in reality. “The dance between the jounalist and the subject” as Cameron Crowe said in the director’s commentary of “Almost Famous.” I suppose I am doing this log because I want the “dance” to be recorded as well as the final product.

I have been waiting for the last six months for him to be back on the road. I have been so nervous that he would not allow me to do this, as it means everything will blow up in my face. All the talk about this film and all the work already put into it. Someone did say to me, “If someone gave you a million dollars to make a documentary on SARS, wouldn’t you just go do that?” And the answer was “No, because I realised to get this off the ground, I have to be fully committed. And it doesn’t matter what gets thrown in the way. If it takes ten years, so be it.” It’s taken months and months for me to realise this.

I have to go take pictures of the boys in the music scene in Hong Kong today. There is a show going on at 48 street Chicago Blues in Tsim Sha Tsui. The line up started at noon, but it’s Sunday.. and the boys I know aren’t playing until 5PM. Which means they probably won’t be on until 7.