Riding with HK street racers
This is the forth saturday they said we were going to explore random abandonned places in the city. First week, they didn’t call. Second week, I called and Fai said someone’s had a fight, and it’s cancelled, Wah said Fai had some work to do, when I saw him the next day, and was like, “Will you guys please stop having arguments.” Last week they didn’t call. Today, got a text message from Candy saying it was on. I called, and went, “Don’t believe you.” and had to hear a whole load of shit, about it all. You don’t have to come, it’s me who’s organizing it, if you can’t come then don’t, blah blah blah, until I told her to F her relative and shut up and listen because I was coming, but please don’t make me rush home and sit by the phone and if you’re not going just let me know, coz I have other things lined up. I don’t get them, they can just totally flake, not turn up, change their minds and don’t feel the need to let anyone know their plans. It’s like, whatever, whenever, who cares. Drives me up the wall.
Since I was in such a mood about it for a good half hour, while we were riding the bikes in Tai Po, I actually decided I wasn’t going to bother, but I knew if I decided that, it meant it was going to happen for sure. Always the way. Felt more stress. Mikie was like, “Outside of the fact it’s unsafe and it’s not worth dying over, I mean, sure I understand you find it thrilling, why don’t you just quit the whole thing.”
I went on about how it was a great project and but I don’t even want to sit in the room with them and haven’t for I don’t even know how long, not only avoiding them as much as possible, but not even taking my camera with me when I saw them. And how I don’t think I have ever forgiven them for doing what they did to Michael, as he really was the only person who was totally supportive of the project and the only one I was real friends with. Sure I knew Michael stole the ring, and all. But there was no need for Wah’s family to black mail him, and I was saying to Mikie, if he didn’t have me to tell him to eat the whole thing and just get probation, he might have gone and borrowed money of loan sharks and let the whole thing spiral out of control. And just seeing the whole business venture fall apart, see how desperate michael got in the end, and going back to selling drugs, was just far too depressing to even think about. I haven’t seen him for ages, not since bumping into him, but he was such a mess, I knew the only way to protect myself is to completely fade.
He was really cool, and he trusted me completely with his life story, and I really apreciate that. And the thing is, he’s just stupid. He’s really honestly daft when it comes to understanding what the rules are. That’s what happens to people when they run away from home at 14 and have to learn to survive. They just don’t get the same morals and the rest of us, and that looking after yourself is completely premiem to anything else, laws, society, the right thing to do. I could see him stealing something from me when things got really hard, not because he want to hurt me, but he’s missing that control over his own behavior. And what’s even more sad, is he will feel completely guilty over it and hate himself more. I wish there was a way to help people like that, but I just don’t see it. It’s like either live a life of complete hardship or go into illegal activities and make a decent living, and if you go all the way, then make an incredible living.
And Mikie suggested that I should just use everything I know into writing a book, and putting it all down, because I know the minds of these people, and I understand how they live, and it would be based on reality, which is what all good books are about, rather than running around collecting footage the way I have been. I agreed, and decided that, it’s probably best I drop the project and change it to something else.
Except I gave Candy a call, and they were all at the garage already. So I went. Again, Mandy and her were talking at once, and I couldn’t work out what the plan was, so I decided to go home, change have a shower and let it turn out whichever way. Either go to bed, and go to Lama tomorrow early, or go without a camera, and just see what it’s like to go into an abandonned building with those guys. Phone rings, Candy is like, “Aren’t you coming!!” and I was like, “Yeah. But I thought you were going to have dinner and then pick me up at like 11 or something.”
The power of suggestion because she said, “Oh, of course, that’s right. We’ll call you when we finish.”
12am. I call again, and say, “Are you finished yet?” She’s like, “Yeah, we’re here already and will be leaving soon.” I am too tired to even roll my eyes, and said I will be there anytime, in the end I packed my camera coz I know not having it would drive me insane.
Did some filming, and oddly this new crew is a far more gentle group. No one complained, not even Fai, about me sticking the camera in their faces, and Wah and his girlfriend acted pretty goofy. They seem younger, and I don’t actually think those guy race, coz although they have cars, theirs are pretty crappy and probably can’t go too fast.
There was talk about that, already. No racing tonight because you don’t want to leave everyone behind.
Yan Sham-Shackleton Online 