RWHKSR:
I know I said I never wanted to hang out with them again, which I now am quite sure is a lie. I know that’s how many of them feel about each other at different times too. Too many intense, individual people, who want to be in control in the same place competing against each other. They can’t always get along, and I know I am as guilty in those flaws as they are.
But I am sorta dying to go out. Ride with them and until I have a new crew, going out with Fai is the only way I can get to do it. I am learning the draw of the experience, the feeling of rubber gliding on concrete, will always speak before and stronger that our personal feelings. We may not be friends, but we are bonded by the knowledge and the thrill.
I would be lying to say I didn’t enjoy it. That I am not a speed addict myself. Of course I am. I may be utterly uninterested in the hows and whys of the machinary as they are. What piece of metal goes where, what those little numbers flashing mean, even though I have to I force myself to understand. But I am interested in the hows and whys of who they are. And increasingly the hows and whys of what the experience brings.
I am thinking of ways I can describe the feeling of synchronicity of the event. The driver, the car, the road. The constant motion, the roar of the engines. The screech of tires, the smell of melted, grounded, pressed black rubber. The passing of the world outside blurred like you have taken a photo of the trees, click on blur in Photoshop to 84 degrees. Except it’s all around you.
It’s science fiction. It’s what it feels like to actually be in an overwrought block buster. The thrill in three dimensional reality, stuff moving too fast, swaying, machine and humans. Stuff Hollywood feeds you at $60 bucks a pop.
Except that the ending is more unpredicatble than Hollywood could give, but you have to force yourself to believe that the hero will go home tonight. But in the back of your mind, they might not, but you try and not think too much about it because on this journey, you have no choice. One it’s started you are there until the evening ends and you know for sure.
Yan Sham-Shackleton Online 