Raver Personality Guide (1997)

Raver Personality Guide.
Written 1997.

The Raver Personality Guide: experts from “the complete raver personality guide”, discovered on sf raves and printed with the kind and enthusiastic permisson of yan sham-shackleton.

I have NO idea where the full version has gone now.. I found this on some webpage. Haha..

The old skooler: circa 89-92

How To Spot One: clothes have a washed-out look, the prints of the t-shirt are faded and have dates that say: 1991.

Where To Find Them: in the background, in the dark, at the ticket booth and at all the anniversary rave celebrations.

Pros: they answer all your rave related questions. they have cool stories to tell, like “it used to be $5 to get in and you got free water.”

Cons: complain all the time about how it used to be $5 to get in and how you got free water; about how the scene was better and how ravers don’t have the same attitude anymore.

The Ultimate Raver:

How To Spot One: more glow sticks and bike lights on their bodies than even the average raver. in the day they look the same sans glow sticks and bike lights.

Where To Find Them: every rave. seen dancing anywhere where there are strains of techno; by their car, down the street, anywhere.

Characteristics: they are always there. when they wake up the first thing they do is put hard trance on and play it real loud.

Pros: best person to call when you want to go out. they’ll always go with you, and they know where it is. they give you warning and directions to secret parties. you can count on them being there. they lend you lots of tapes.

Cons: can become a burnout-raver. they don’t understand when you’re tired or they don’t want to go out. pray they don’t live in the apartment above you.

The Burnt Out Raver

How To Spot One: shoes are a nondescript color of blah. they haven’t washed their hair for a month; in fact they haven’t washed bodies or clothes for a while either.

Where To Find Them: again at every rave. including clubs on the weekdays and cafes that play techno in the afternoon. in the day, sleeping among a pile of water bottles, flyers and miscellaneous mess.

Characteristics: always high, coming down or about to come up. when they laugh it’s a full body laugh where their heads flip backwards and their jaws lock. they know everybody.

Worst Case Scenario: rehab or parents.

Pros: great fun. they always find you the drugs you want. sometimes they give you some free.

Cons: never have any money except to go to raves and for drugs. keep borrowing from you for important things such as food, rent and cigarettes.

The Candy Raver (no. cal), Club Kid (so. cal) (geographically different terminology.)

How To Spot One: can’t really miss them can you? In the 7 inch foam platforms, incredible makeup, wigs, fluffy furry jackets, lots of lights and glow things hanging off them. glam glam glam.

Where To Find Them: everywhere in the scene.

Characteristics: stickers, glitter, sesame street, soft toys, backpacks, teddy bears, and pacifiers.

Pros: fun to look at. some of them have the most interesting lives. if you are one, you get in free to events.

Cons: when you’re their friend, it’s hard to get to talk to them because everyone else is trying to do the same.

The DJ:

How To Spot One: one shoulder is lower than the other. they have bad posture from bending over their decks. they always have an entourage surrounding them-managers, friends that need to get in free, groupies of the male or female persuasion. with their gear.

Where To Find Them: behind the decks or hanging out with other dj’s. they are usually not dancing. behind their decks at home.

Characteristics: either ultra arrogant or really cool. there is never an in-between.
Pros: we need them. if they’re good, they make you ecstatic. your life depends on them. when they are starting out, they give you tapes and they play at your parties for free.

Cons: when they suck, your life feels like it’s over. if they’re your friends you never see them, because they are either playing or practicing. they don’t go to raves unless they’re playing.

The Drug Dealer

How To Spot One: usually yells something subtle like “eeeeeeeee”. or grabs you and says, “i like your jacket. do you want some e?” usually stands alone and sober.

Where To Find Them: near the doors at the parties, in parking lots.

Characteristics: stand quietly by themselves looking around for people.

Pros: well, it’s quite obvious really.

Cons: when you’re already high they keep asking you, “are you sure? i can give you five and take $2 off” because you might be so fucked up you buy it anyway. if they’re your friend you never know if you want to give them a ride or not, due to the possession laws.

The Groupie/ Hanger On.

How To Spot One: the lone person, or two in a group of people with laminates.
Where To Find Them: around somebody important, either a dj, a promoter, a club kid or a drug dealer. hanging out with the people who put on the rave.

Characteristics: they won’t talk to you unless you know someone or are someone. if they do talk to you, they name drop. sample monologue: “well, so i was there in this cafe, and i was having sunday lunch with the promoters, yeah, and then carl cox comes over and sits down. man, that was da bomb. you know him? good, he is da shit. funny thing was there was this guy from moonshine records, you know, trying to sign my friend onto the label. you know moonshine right?”

Pros: they introduce you to the people you might actually care to meet.

Cons: that is if you’re cool enough in the first place to deserve to be spoken to.

The Scenester:

How To Spot One: mondorama long sleeved black shirts with bold color print (orange, lime green) and trendy trainers.

Where To Find Them: their own private parties with all other scenester buddies. they are always at raves that have no flyers.

Characteristics: work for some artsy tv film thang or have their own record label or specialty techno shop. they manage dj’s or are graphic artists who design flyers. they hate ravers. they cringe when they see people on e running around raves holding hands.

Pros: if you hang out with them enough, you get to be included in the oh-so-exclusive-scenester crowd. you get to go to invite-only parties.

Cons: they never know what to do with their friends who continue to be unashamedly raver. (damn it, i like my pigtails, stickers and glitter.) they hate the people who support them. ungrateful bastards.

The Guru Spiritualist:

How To Spot One: they look hippyish, but not quite. the hard core ones do tai chi at sunrise.

Where To Find Them: all outdoor raves. in the desert, in the mountains, the full moon parties.

Characteristics: into things you can’t spell, bought in health food stores. they talk about the energy and stuff. they try to find the goddess somewhere in the rave. at sunrise, or beach parties, they yell out exaltations: “sun oh, sun! you have arrived!” or “the sea, i love you!”

Pros: they tell you what to eat and what herbal stuff is going to help your high.

Cons: some people are just atheist, non-spiritual beings that are there to have fun. on Sunday mornings, when they preach, you wish you had a door to slam in their faces.